Are you regularly avoiding social interactions? Are you constantly worried about how you come across to other people which in turn prevents you from enjoying going out? Have you noticed that avoiding social situations has already impacted on your relationships, meeting new people or even work and your career decisions?
Social anxiety is a long-term fear of social situations. It can have a significant impact on your life and even result in isolation, which has severe consequences for your mental and physical health. It is characterised by internal focus which means you might be constantly evaluating how you come across to others, rather than be lost in the conversation and be able to enjoy it. It means you can constantly think about whether you are blushing and shaky, or whether you have anything interesting to say. Rather than enjoying the conversation and getting to know other people better, you may plan what you are going to say next, due to fear of awkward silence.
Social anxiety has nothing to do with the lack of social skills which is what most people with social anxiety fear – it is usually maintained by what you focus on and the impact of avoidance on how you respond to any social opportunity.
What can help you during those social interactions is staying externally focussed – for example, instead of thinking about how you come across to others or assessing whether what you are going to say next is going to be interesting enough – try to focus the attention to what the person you are speaking with is talking about. It may seem simple, but actually, if you have spent a lot of time internally focused during social interactions, it can take time and practice to develop. You can practice the external focus through mindfulness or just paying attention to the colours or shapes surrounding you during your daily walk, or keep your attention on the various instruments when listening to the music. The more you practice external focus in the situations you feel comfortable in, the more confidence you will develop before trying this out in social situations.
Regardless of whether you are aware of when social anxiety started or how long it has been affecting you, it is possible to change the way you experience social situations and develop behaviours that can show you that your fears no longer need to form a barrier to living your life on your own terms.